brett james sebastian

its been a while

Tue, 17 Apr 2007 04:18:41 GMT

recap:

1. i went to driving school, paid my fine
2. i got my midterm grades, not bad at all
3. i applied to UB's Communication Design program, which i should hear from tomorrow

that about sums up the past month. i have to straighten myself out. i feel like i've just been going through the motions ever since i started the school year. i dont mean that in the sense that im not trying in school, but that i havent sat down and thought about what i want to do. i need to get serious with what i want to spend at least the next 2 years in school pursuing.

i havent worried so much about girls and relationships. although, its been a lot easier talking and getting to know them when i am drinking. not good in the long run, right? thats why i am debating on sobering up for a little while, or at least not drinking as much (not like i am a lush or anything, but still). i feel like im missing out on a lot when all i look forward to is where i am drinking in the weekend. there should be more to my life than that right now.

plus, laying low would be a nice change of pace

my basement is freezing cold.

Mon, 19 Mar 2007 07:20:06 GMT

i am remodeling my entire basement, and its going great so far. i just have to make it warmer, cuz right now icicles are forming on my monitor.

its been some weeks since i wrote in this living journal so i guess theres a lot to say, barring any problems i have with my fingers freezing off.

since that entry, i have worked on the DMF stuff a lot (webstore launch is this friday), played basketball at school, applied to UBs communication design program, and had a few too many drinks - a few too many times.

if theres one thing i hate more than anything, its being asked how i feel about the same thing over and over again. if you know me well, you probably have a good guess as to what thats referring to. just please, worry about what you are doing, and i will take care of myself. sometimes i appreciate a person asking me how i've been with everything going on, but if you are just looking to get some new dirt or news to spread along, im sorry. this isnt high school.

this past weekend i packed up a bunch of my stuff to bring home (im in C-Vegas for a week) and i have to admit, as much as people like to hate on cheektowaga for being cheektowaga, its those reasons that i love it. charm is the key.

tonight i spent around 3 and 1/2 hours talking to this girl, i think her name was kortney, about nothing in particular, and it was awesome. i thought i was going to get stabbed a few times by lil Kim, but other than that, it was great. i then went over to driscolls to hang out with the guys and play some halo, which brings me to now. im freezing, so im going to bed.

valentines day

Wed, 14 Feb 2007 08:47:19 GMT

happy valentines day everyone.

it would be typical to complain how i dont have a valentine, but i think this past year has helped me grow and realize its not always going to be about "me". i am ok with that, because lately a lot of stuff has not been going my way, and its helped to just look at it all, laugh, and wonder what else is going to happen. its all been a pretty good test of character. plus, theres honestly nothing positive to come out of a day/week/month sulking, and feeling sorry for yourself. im sorry, but no one would want to be near you if all you did was throw your problems around. take them for what they are, challenges, and move on.

today alex and i recorded 2 songs for our good friend Bill and his valentine Becky. it took 7 or so hours of work on my computer, but if you want to hear how we did, head over to
http://www.thesleepaway.com/bill/ and download the 2 tracks.

you cant worry about the future, because it's not even real. - thanks mom, or i guess the tv show you were watching (ha)

first day of my life

Fri, 09 Feb 2007 08:11:08 GMT

everything happens for a reason.

i dont know if i'll ever believe in God, but i'll always believe in that.

just to whoever reads this: take what life gives you, and use it to go further. dont be bitter, be thankful that you are given such fuel to keep going.

kill the drama

Mon, 29 Jan 2007 08:37:26 GMT

thank you to everyone who came to the final and most eventful Sleepaway show. I think I speak for the entire band when I say that we were overwhelmed by the response. All the money we made at the show went straight to our friend and her siblings who tragically lost their mother this winter. Overall, it was a great thing to be a part of, and I am glad that the purpose of the show wasn't lost.

that being said, yes it was our last show. not a fake last show, not a "well maybe we'll milk it for one more show"... the last show... ... i think ... probably.

anyways, now it's time to get down to business with school. i should figure out what i want to do with my life, besides looking for a nice girl to spend time with, and making money. although those 2 things are ultimately my goal, right?

number one fan is the only band in the world right now

Wed, 17 Jan 2007 07:54:22 GMT

my mind is so clear now, and i honestly feel great... at least for the rest of tonight. time has a funny way of working things out, and although its not always the outcome we initially wanted, most times its for the best.

i guess i feel refreshed. that would be the best word to describe it.

school starts back up on monday, i cant wait to get back to the apartment and check how bad it smells.

long time again

Sat, 13 Jan 2007 20:15:05 GMT

it's funny how one night can mentally wear you out, more than the past year.

anyways, heres a song I wrote: go to this page.

if anyone ever reads this, let me know what you think.

i need to pick a major

Wed, 20 Dec 2006 10:19:28 GMT

i havent written in a few weeks, so its time for an update.

recently, i've been writing and recording a lot. nothing spectacular, but its nice to get back into it. another thing i do in my spare time is design. i have even embarked on a new business venture with my good friend Seabass. It's called Dazzle Me Formal clothing/accessories. We debuted the line this past saturday at CIWWAF/SOL/Talking In My Sleep show at the Icon in front of a sold out crowd. We did amazingly well, and I was extremely happy with how all my designs turned out. In fact, there are 2 stores on Elmwood Ave that are going to be carrying my designs: Stache (mens boutique) and Sweet & Dirty (womens). Both of these are very selective in their products, so I'm honored that mine are going to be on sale there.

tonight i went home to watch my brother's last high school christmas concert. he did great, and it was nice to see a lot of my old friends.

however, on the ride back to fredonia, i got pulled over and given a speeding ticket.

oh well, lesson learned.

me at the show, looking pretty tired.

diet lipton green tea citrus... thats the jam right there

Sat, 25 Nov 2006 06:07:08 GMT

thats how life is right now i guess, a -ok. being home for the week has been great, I'm hanging out with my friends who I've missed a lot, and got to eat a ton of great food. also, work isnt really that bad anymore, I've learned how to have fun with it. so the 55 hours are flying by. plus, I'm going to look like such a baller next week with my paycheck.

if it means landing the deal...

Thu, 09 Nov 2006 08:20:04 GMT

i cant see a thing, i have to wear my glasses a lot more now. according to some people, thats not a bad thing. but again, i HATE having to wipe those things off, or when it rains, your fd.

today I'm prepared to fail 2 tests. miserably.

wish i knew what to do with my life so i could actually have a goal in school.

heres one: __________TBD__________

- brett

halloween tomorrow

Mon, 30 Oct 2006 07:32:14 GMT

dont sweat the small stuff. it all works out in the end.

ive found that i have so much going on lately, but nothing i want to write (or more so type) about. if you know me, then you already know. if you dont, then theres a reason.

"put your hands on me, my love"

Mon, 23 Oct 2006 06:07:43 GMT

i should definately think before i say things... to girls

that aside, it was an unexpectedly good saturday night. until i over-analyzed everything in the entire world.

however, i was given some good advice: just go with what youre feeling...

i got the green light

heres everything ive always meant to say...

Wed, 18 Oct 2006 05:47:27 GMT

this week better fly by.

here are some pictures from the latest party at our apartment:

Fri, 13 Oct 2006 06:40:33 GMT

saturday night party. dress to impress.

ive been thinking about so many things lately ranging from school, to girls, and money, etc etc. (typical college guy). but after spending such a long time with someone, its easy to see why one weekend together could make you remember all the great things about that person. still, not to seem over eager, you try to hold off calling or texting the person, even though youd rather have a 5 hour conversation with that person than do anything else in your day.

oh well, its snowing, and cold, and I'm happy about that. the snow is only here for a day, but then itll be back later in November. i love the cold because that means sweaters and scarves. im pumped.

in reverie

Wed, 11 Oct 2006 05:45:41 GMT

i like throwing parties with my friends. this saturday should be a good one.

getting up for the let down

Tue, 26 Sep 2006 05:30:34 GMT

i should stop looking so hard.
or maybe i should get the furthest away i can.
because we all know that im not any closer than i was before.

all things aside, i think i like hanging out in a small group or 1 on 1 more than a party. dont get me wrong, i like going to parties (where i actually know people), but partying is basically a reason to drink and be sleazy... and then blame it on the drinks.

i have yet to find someone to feel the same.

who needs the radio when you've got ...

Wed, 20 Sep 2006 05:40:48 GMT

i hope whoever is reading this is happy. because I for one, am very content where I am right now. for example, at this very second, Im sitting here, listening to Joshua Radin's new cd (i just saw him on latenight and it blew me away, go DL 'star mile' & the cd on itunes), its raining, and I'm surrounded by some of my best friends. its just so peaceful and drama free, which is something i havent had in a while.

sure, im lonely, but who isnt. theres temporary cures for that anyway. just get a bunch of those in a row, and it seems like you arent so alone.

i have to start wearing my glasses, i cant see a thing when i'm in class. i just hate when you walk into a warm room from the cold outside, and your glasses get all fogged up. youd think they would have figured out a way to stop that by now.

looking forward to fall... the season

you're nina simone
when you talk on the phone
you sing to me and i'm truly
no longer alone

even if your heart would listen, i doubt i could explain

Fri, 15 Sep 2006 07:34:18 GMT

its about 3:30am on friday morning. you wouldnt believe how much can run through your mind at such a late (or early i guess) hour.

girls, money, school, girls, music, life, girls

you know, the normal stuff.

i need to get to Wal Mart tomorrow and buy some more Tropical Melon air fresheners for my room. im running low.

ps - and as much as i hate it, theres something i love about getting woken up by 7am phonecalls.
pps - if youve never done that, and youre reading this, please dont start. (ha)

Tue, 12 Sep 2006 00:35:42 GMT

i wish i lived in a movie.

i gotta get a fake!

Fri, 08 Sep 2006 06:17:14 GMT

school is awesome.

so is watching Varsity Blues on VHS. alone.
or maybe thats just sad. i dont know, but its a good movie either way.

so can we take the next hour and talk about me...

Fri, 01 Sep 2006 06:48:48 GMT

my first week of college at FSU is almost done. its been awesome so far. I've met a bunch of new people, and I hope there are a lot more to come.

i burned the popcorn i was attempting to make tonight, and made my apartment smell TERRIBLE for the better part of 4 hours. my bad. but i swear im a better cook than that! someday my wife will appreciate that (ha).

tomorrow, or really today i guess, i have 3 classes, but i have to switch my world history class on tuesdays/thursdays to a different one, the new one will be a lecture class with matt p, and will be a lot more enjoyable than the one i am currently in. woot.

i have to figure out a major this semester... i was thinking business, but i hate being told how to start a business. I was in a band and marketed it good enough to get a cd in stores and much much more, so im not going to have some 70 year old guy tell me how to start my own lemonade stand. then i thought media arts (which is what i did at canisius), but there arent many jobs, and i like that more of a hobby i think. but now, i am contemplating majoring in Phsycology. I love to listen to people talk, and I would like to think I give good advice. the trick is, to put yourself in that person's position, and tell them how you see it. most people dont get that, and they give the same advice to everyone. just think about if it was you in need, it changes your perspective quite a bit.

but who knows, ill change my mind tomorrow.

college

Wed, 30 Aug 2006 04:28:46 GMT

here at college, and I couldnt be happier. the school, the town, the friends, everything seems to fit so well.

my classes havent been too bad, and my schedule pretty much rocks. monday, wednesday and friday i go from 12-3pm, and tuesdays and thursdays its 11-3 with an hour and 1/2 break. im so pumped that i dont have any early mornings.

i miss some people already, but for the most part I have everything I need right here. the only way to put it is "refreshing" ...

oh... and my apartment is amazing. if you read this, and want to stop by, dont be a stranger.

figure it out

Thu, 24 Aug 2006 05:26:49 GMT

life

i dig it.
although confusing, its one hell of a ride.

thats cool baby, i mean, you know how it is. rockin and rollin and whatnot...

Wed, 23 Aug 2006 04:03:42 GMT

funny how certain things can keep you up all night. as small as they seem, they drive you crazy. it might even be only 1 or 2 words someone had said to you during your day. yea, that happened to me today. twice.

but anyways, lets just say that i hope this year at school makes me forget about certain things (including those 1 or 2 words).

lets cut the vague references and talk about what i really mean by all this, and what basically all my entries are about: love.

your life is at its best when youre in it, sucks something horrible when youre not. i dont know if its the same for everyone when i say this, but i dont even care about spending my money and time when i have someone to share it with. not a minute goes by when youre not thinking of that person, or what you could do for them, or how to show them that you cant imagine your life apart from them. you just have to hope that person feels the same, and you arent just wasting everything on them (ha).

but i guess thats why life is a crazy chain of events, because you never know what is 100%. but if youre in love, and have that person, dont you feel like life just got a whole lot simpler? that the missing side to you is finally there?

apparently i have yet to find out.

3 years ago life was simple

Tue, 22 Aug 2006 06:10:38 GMT

4 more days

tomorrow im going to buy a ton of the little things ill need for the apartment (shampoo, shaving cream, the poster of beer mugs that every college apartment seems to have, etc etc, you know, the essentials.)

boston was real fun this past weekend. it was great spending time with my family, and eating a ton of food.

now onto the encrypted/self reflection part of my livejournal entry (you do the same thing, so dont hate).
> why do the most complex of problems always have the simplest of answers. for example, take love and relationships. you search for it, you long for it, and you always end up where you start, doomed for eternity without that special someone. but what if that someone is right there? and youre just too scared to aknowledge it.

(side note: im not saying your ugly weirdo best friend is that person.)

being honest with yourself is so key to understanding life. if you try to sugarcoat things, or avoid things, THATS when life becomes difficult. denial is big too.

say what you feel, and take what comes with it. it never hurts (in the end) to be honest.

[i think i still feel the same]